


What Do You Have? A Blunt! No!

by NoodleKing



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Blunt, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Reader-Insert, Transformers - Freeform, Transformers Prime - Freeform, Weed, and you bother him, and you cri, blunts, but then doc says no cheif, he work but no party, is - Freeform, no ramance, ratchet - Freeform, ratchet is a party pooper, reader - Freeform, smh, thats it, working, you get high, you just get high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 21:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19326538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoodleKing/pseuds/NoodleKing
Summary: You're grounded from going out. What's better to do than get high and watch your favorite show?-!![WARNING: YOU GET HECKIN HIGH]!!





	What Do You Have? A Blunt! No!

**Author's Note:**

> this is specifically inspired by the one video of the mom shouting to her kid "WHAT DO YOU HAVE" and then he holds it up with pride saying "A KNIFE!" and then the mom screams no and chases her kid. Its funnier when watching it.  
> \------------  
> There's finna be like misspells and shit but oh well :)  
> \---  
> Reader is gender neutral but you can be what ever ya want in this fam :3   
> \---------------  
> WARNING: USE OF DRUGS!!! WEED MOSTLY!! blunts uwu.

What a lovely day it was. The sun was shinning bright and the sky was clear without a could to be seen. The temperature had become a nice warm temperature but also had its cool breezes every so often. Birds were singing, people were surprisingly outdoors, and here you were lounging on the sofa in the autobot base watching t.v, not to mention the fact that you were getting high as fuck right now.

Exactly why were you cooped up in the base on this bright sunny day? Because your dumb ass pulled a stupid and followed after one of the 'bots through the magical portal of narnia and played the special role as a distraction during a heated moment between the 'bot and a local Decepticon. 

To you, it was juat a Decepticon. 

To team Prime? They were one of the higher ranks aboard the Nemesis. Ehh What was their name again? Sock clout? Black Out? Eh, it honestly didn't matter to you. 

As you recall, you triumphly lead your buddy Arcee to make a U turn from facing death. 

The two wheeler's story didn't quite match yours. Arcee had said that your cowardly scream was so crusty that KnockClout or whom ever was about to shoot you to scrap. She also had said that you were the reason why she couldn't obtain the energon fuel because you 'got in the way'. Also, apparently you had told her that you shat yourself before going back through the groundbridge to the autobot base and then proceeded to kiss the cement ground the second you got off of her vehicle.

That totally didn't happen. (you knew it did and that Arcee will use that moment to torture you in the nearby future). Never happened at alllllll.

So here you are, stuck inside the base due to a Decepticon target thats been put on you from earlier events, forbidden to leave unless you were-as Ratchet says- 'About to see Primus himself'. It took explaining to do until you understood what he meant by that. 

Apparently Primus is God for the alien robots or something similar to that. 

One of your favorite shows was starting within a minute or two on one of the channels. Flipping to that channel, you make yourself comfortable and turn up the volume a bit more. You reach into your jacket and pull out the most beautiful rolled up blunt you have ever laid eyes upon. It was as if Jesus himself had blessed this organic form of nature just for you to enjoy. Though you didn't necessarily consider yourself religious, you silently thanked the gods for obtaining this beautiful drug before fumbling around in your pockets for a lighter. 

Shit.

It must have fallen out earlier. 

Pausing your movements, your ears perk up to the sound of 'I am working don't bother me' from nearby and it gave you a brilliant yet stupud idea. You stand up from your already comfortable chilling position on the sofa and head your way over to the famous Ratchet the hatchet. It was a nickname you and the wreckers had came up with one night when super drunk. Not only were you drunk, but so was Wheeljack-and Bulkhead..and you did let Miko take a few sips from your bottle considering yourself the gracious friend of adult reaponsibilities. You weren't too ashamed, y'all had quite a bit of fun that time.

Sucking in breath, you head to the railing and lean on it in the most chill way possible. You peered over at the red and white ambulance who seemed to busy himself with repairing some.. metal ball.. thing.. You make the ultimate decision and try your best not to make a joke out of it-but you weren't going to pass it up again next time. 

"Haaaaayyyy, Ratch." You say in the most friendly way you could manage. To your disfortune, it seemed that the medic was already a step ahead of you. 

"What do you want this time, [Y/n]?" His tone of voice almost offends you with how well he knows you, so you cut to the chase and get to the point of why you're bothering him. This 'bot doesn't like his time to be wasted for dummy thicc minds of beauty like you.

"Do you have a lighter?" You then ask, quirking a brow at the working mech who gives you silence for the next three minutes. 

Finally, the 'bot responds. 

"I have a torch." 

Wow, thanks for the info-you say in your mind. That's going to burn right through your perfectly made blunt, considering the fact that the tool is only used for giant alien robot welding and not for puffing the green stuff.

You knew your pal Wheeljack would gladly figure out a way to morph a lighter of some kind-though asking the doc might not be a great idea. 

You aren't very clear on what exactly had happened, but something happened between Wheeljack, Miko, and Ratchet at one point. Someone did something and left without notice-or something. You didn't ask at the time because Wheeljack had taken off and left like a ghetto dad, Ratchet had his hands full with Bulk's recovery thing, and Miko was..well, she was in tears for days. You were polite enough not to talk much on the topic you knew little about and instead you had decided to help her out and shared funny images with her. 

Ah, you were such a memelord. 

"Can I uhhhhhhhhhh use it?" You then ask the medic, unsure of the possible outcome of this. He pauses his work and shifts to glance at you. Well, he more stared at you in utter disbelief than glance with curiosity. I mean, what's a human like you gonna do with a giant sized welding torch tool?

Light a blunt. 

That's what you were going to do with it, but Ratchet doesn't have the same idea as you do. He's probably thinking you would somehow burn the base down to a crisp, burnt ass piece of toast. 

"What do you need it for?"

"Lighting something." Becoming wary, you aren't quite sure where Ratchet's opinion on weed lies..or if he even had one.

"Like what exactly?"

Mouth going dry, you then respond truthfully. "A blunt." You hold up the said object with a convincing face.

"No." He says before resuming his work.

Squinting at the Autobot, you stand by the railing for a while and try to come up with any excuse on lighting your precious drug. Looking down at the floor, you look at the unlit blunt in your hands. It wasn't that big of a deal, but this blunt you currently had was finely crafted and you weren't going to just throw it out and never use it! You were also missing parts of your favorite show that played on the T.V infront of the comfy sofa.

Maybe if you smoothly talk him into giving it to you? 

Face lighting up, you try to being up a topic. Your plan was to change it into him letting you use his flame thrower torch thingymajig.

"So how about those Decepticons, eh?"

"Forget it, [Y/n]."

"Ugh!" Instead kf throwing a hissy fit, you step back a bit and hit the hardest dab you could muster and retreat back to the couch. Plopping down in defeat, you focus your attention on what's playing on the television screen. Halfway through one of the character's sentences, you come to realization thst something is jabbing at your leg so you reach down without breaking your attention from the show and feel around. 

What you had just discovered was life changing (not really) and you grab ahold of the solid object and pull out your lighter from beneath your leg. You had been sitting on your Adventure Time Finn and Jake lighter! With a grin of victory, you eagerly whip out your blunt and begin to light it. Fortunately, it lights and you begin to intake the beauty of dimension travel. Aka, sitting around giggling at what ever catches your eye.

The true feeling of content has begun to settle in. Here you are, chilling on the sofa, watching your show and smoking a blunt. What could possibly get any better?

"[Y/n]!"

The sudden yelling causing you to choke on your inhale as you were currently half way through the mystical blunt. 

It was Ratchet's voice.

Lazily looking over to his direction, you ask him what the problem is. "Whaaaat?"

"What are you doing with that? It's damaging to your processor sensors!" It was as if someone had jammed a metal pipe up Ratchet's butt. He was almost fuming at what you were doing-which was literally nothing. Except smoking a blunt. 

"I don't- wait waht?" You were too high for this argument. 

"Get rid of it."

"Waht? no! It's mine!"

"Get rid of it or I will." He didnt have to tell you twice. Last time you had lit a small and poorly made blunt and the red and white metal fuck dunked water on you and who ever was within 2 feet. Jack wasn't even part of your giggle contest with Miko and yet he, along with poor Raf who was playing on his minecraft server, got soaked. You had then spent over an hour arguing with Ratchet on how weed doesn't explode like a gasoline station. He might have argued that it did so mentally than physically.

Letting out a sad noise, you take your last puff before tossing it out. You had made sure it wasn't lit before doing so and then returned tobyour spot on the depression couch. 

At least you were high though. 

You couldn't argue much with that and thus you continue to watch your favorite T.V show while the ambulance mutters nonsence in the background.


End file.
